I came across this from an old, old email. It’s a parody of Confucius’ Analects, which I read in college. I remember some of the real thing sounding about this ridiculous.

I.
Lady Yee said, “The men of Ch’in are kind, but not discriminating.”
“That is correct,” the Master said.
Lady Yee said, “The men outside of Ch’in are discriminating, but not kind.”
“That is correct,” the Master said.
Lady Yee said, “I wish for a husband who is both kind and discriminating.”
The Master said, “Good luck.” II.
Lady Yee sat by the river weeping.
“What is troubling you?” the Master said.
“I am excessively sarcastic!” Lady Yee said.
The Master said, “That is false.”
“And I shall never be accepted in the eastern provinces!”
The Master said, “That is also false.”
“And one of my eyes is closer to my forehead than the other!
” The Master said, “You have a baseline level of anxiety.”

III.
The Master said, “You stupid cat.”

IV.
The Master said, “Lady Yi was good; Queen Pei was adaptable. Lady Yee is both good and adaptable.”
Lord Yu said, “What is the signifance of this?”
The Master said, “I am not sure.”

Related Posts:

• The Toad King (July, 2008)
• First Husband? (October, 2005)
• My Submission to StopTheSpying.org (January, 2008)
• Weekly Digest for February 4th (February, 2010)
• Weekly Digest for February 18th (February, 2010)

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