Liquor? I barely even know her! (jokes)
My friends and I have spent an embarrassing number of hours reliving our adolescent days, coming up with these groan-worthy puns. Occasionally, a few will touch upon the absurd and, very rarely, the sublime. After the jump I present to you the current, canonical list of Er-jokes. Add more in the comments or in emails and I’ll keep the list updated.
Update: The best ones from the comments have been added to the canon as of 12/18/2009.
- Actuator Assembly
- All-Night Bender
- Amplfier Response
- Backpacker
- Ball Peen Hammer
- Bang Operator
- Batter Up
- Bitter Almonds
- Bitter End
- Bitter Herbs
- Bitter Melon
- Bittersweet Chocolate
- Bone Doctor
- Boom Operator
- Border Collie
- Border Crossing
- Brandy Snifter
- Bulk Uploader
- Bunghole Liquors
- Buster Poindexter
- Buster Keaton
- Butterfinger
- Caesar
- Can Opener
- Catcher in the Rye
- Citrus Reamer
- Cedar Junction
- Cedar Chest
- Cedar Drawers
- Cherry Picker
- Clam Digger
- Cocoa Butter
- Cocker Spaniel
- Consumer Awareness
- Consumer Goods
- Consumer Products
- Copperhead
- Cross-Compiler (AB)
- Cup and Saucer
- Disassembler (AB)
- Elevator Action
- Elevator Button
- Elevator Shaft
- Elixir
- Employer Information
- Engelbert Humperdinck
- Exeter
- Evildoer
- Explore Outer Space
- Feeder Pipe
- Fertilizer
- Fiddler Crabs
- Fiddler on the Roof
- Filler Items
- Flickr Set
- Flying Saucer
- Former Tight End
- Governor Schwarzenegger
- Hacker Conventions
- Hoover Dam
- Impeller Inlet
- Inflator Figure
- Inner Back Bay
- Inner Ear
- Inner Harbor
- Inner Peace
- Inner Sanctum
- Innerspace (Movie)
- Inner Tube (See Also: Rubber Inner Tube)
- Inner Workings
- Insider Knowledge
- Inspector Gadget
- Jabberwocky
- Letter Opener
- Liquor and Wine
- Liquor Box
- Liquor Cabinet
- Liquor Filled Bon-Bons
- Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Rear
- Meat Grinder
- Melon Baller
- Mike Ditka
- Non-Dairy Creamer
- Nut Driver
- Nutter Butter
- Oakland Raider
- Off Kilter
- Orel Hershiser
- Organ Grinder
- Oven-Stuffer Roaster
- Plumber Crack
- Poconos (Terrible, we know, but bears mentioning due to this Onion article)
- Poker Face
- Polar Bear
- Polar Coordinates
- Poster Tube
- Power Bottom
- Preprocessor (AB)
- Puffer Fish
- Pumpernickel Muffin
- Quarterpounder
- Resonator Cavities
- Raider Tight End
- Razor Bump
- Rochester
- Rubber Bullet
- Rubber Chicken
- Rubber Dinghy
- Rubbermaid
- Scout’s Honor
- Scratch ‘n Sniff Sticker
- Seeker Head
- Server Stack
- Shaker Furniture
- Sneaker Pimps
- Sniffer Dog
- Soccer Ball
- Stiff Upper Lip
- Stream Parser (AB)
- Stretcher
- Sucker Cups
- Suckerfish
- Sucker for Punishment
- Sucker Punch
- Supercollider
- Tail Gunner
- Tailor-Made
- Taper Down
- Tenderloin
- Tickler Ukulele
- Tinker Toy
- Tire and Rubber
- Tire Sealer and Inflator
- Toaster Oven
- Tokenizer (AB)
- Trick or Treat
- Tupperware (see archaic definition for “tup”)
- Upper Back Bay
- Uppercut
- User Interface
- Vacuum Cleaner Parts
- Ventilator Shaft
- Visitor Center
- Watermelon (Best said as: “You want me to watermelon?!”)
- Whipped Cream Charger
- Whippersnapper
- Whistleblower
- Wicker Basket
- William Shatner (FTW!!!!)
- Wiper Fluid
- Woodpecker
- Woodpecker hole
Bonus! Other pronoun-jokes:
- Bonus
- Homo Erectus
- Official Dictum
- Parnassus
- Cornerman (well, it’s an -er, but the subject is an -im, so I’ll put it here)
(Note: a lot of these come from this old MIT page)
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July 20th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Inner Peace Insider Knowledge
July 20th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
some others from a recent Thursday dinner
Catcher in the Rye All Night Bender Quarterpounder (where to place the comma?) Tinker Toy Cocker Spaniel Butterfinger Sticker Shock Border Collie (Border Crossing?) Plumber Crack (Roto Rooter? Liquid Plumber?) Hoover Dam Checker Luggage Nutter Butter Buster Poindexter Buster Keaton Whicker Basket Governor Schwarzenegger Toaster Oven Trick or Treat
July 20th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Awesome. I can’t believe how many of these I’d forgotten. Adding them…
July 21st, 2008 at 5:40 am
ReiserFS
July 21st, 2008 at 9:24 am
liquor in the front, poker in the rear (sign at a bar) daimler chrysler (from brendan) parnassus (also from brendan – his favorite of all the “er” street names in SF)
July 21st, 2008 at 10:48 pm
Here’s a few more, off the top of my Double Header…
Liquor Cabinet Suckerfish Oakland Raider Cocoa Butter Jabberwocky Scratch ‘n Sniff Sticker Sniffer Dog Clam Digger Engelbert Humperdinck Cherry Picker Soccer Ball Hacker Conventions Puffer Fish
And, finally… Cornerman?! (but I don’t even know him!)
July 21st, 2008 at 11:15 pm
Awesome. Adding a bunch of these.
July 28th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Green Bay Packer
July 28th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
somebody help me.
Frequent Flyer Package Red Hot Poker Beg to Differ
August 5th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Watermelon. best said as: you want me to watermelon?! Backpacker!
August 6th, 2008 at 9:36 am
New, from Amos: Power Bottom and Bone Doctor
September 19th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Duh: Woodpecker!
October 1st, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Double Duh: Fertilizer! (from Amanda)
October 7th, 2008 at 8:14 am
Brandy Snifter Poster Session (from Sam) Dissertation (from Ben, but nonsensical…)
October 11th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
fender bender?!
October 11th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
batch uploader?!
October 13th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Jess corrects me: Bulk Uploader?!
October 21st, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Flying Saucer?!
Amos: Plumber Crack?!
October 30th, 2008 at 11:56 am
bitter melon
October 30th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Reminds me of: Bitter Herbs
November 7th, 2008 at 10:54 am
organ grinder Flickr set tickler ukulele
November 13th, 2008 at 8:58 am
meat grinder employer information
November 20th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
tail gunner
November 24th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
bonus!
nut driver (from marc)
December 1st, 2008 at 12:34 pm
poster tube
December 1st, 2008 at 3:23 pm
ball peen hammer
December 3rd, 2008 at 11:53 pm
bang operator
December 4th, 2008 at 12:18 am
boom operator (less evocative, but more recognizable to non-coders)
December 4th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Sleeper Cell
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:27 pm
From Amos: Stiff Upper Lip
February 11th, 2009 at 8:36 am
marc suggests “batter up”
February 16th, 2009 at 5:13 am
wiper fluid?
bunghole liquors? no, really, i just drove by that place last night: http://www.bungholeliquors.com/component/option,com_contact/Itemid,3/ http://www.thesaleminsider.com/2008/01/10/get-it-in-the-bunghole/ http://flickr.com/photos/bikitabanana/336209463/
March 28th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Citrus Reamer
March 29th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
you have woodpecker… but woodpecker hole?!
April 15th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
From Sam: Rubber Bullet?!
April 29th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
From Axel:
shaker furniture!?
and a little less plausibly:
shaker handicrafts!?
and
shaker knicknacks!?
aa
April 29th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Letter Opener
April 29th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
an old one, not on the list for some reason:
off kilter?!
and a couple new ones:
server stack?! spoonerism?! whipped cream charger?!
May 4th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
Commander Data?!
May 8th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
kitty corner?!
(trivial trivia: i think this may be the only one on the list that starts with k)
June 3rd, 2009 at 1:58 am
tenderloin?!
July 9th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
poker face
October 4th, 2009 at 11:49 pm
From Ben: cup and saucer (a good one, methinks)
November 15th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
From Jess: Razor Bump
December 11th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Sneaker Pimps!?
December 13th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
From bornstein: melon baller?!
December 19th, 2009 at 11:19 am
vector lover(s)
December 27th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
seam ripper?! meat tenderizer?!
December 27th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Those are clever, Axel, but damn.
December 28th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
rector street (yeah i did!!)
January 4th, 2010 at 8:34 pm
eric i got one more gory one, and then i’ll make it all better:
meat cleaver?!
cleanse that with a:
unicorn chaser?!
January 4th, 2010 at 9:15 pm
Correction: Melon Baller was Mark’s, not AB’s. Or so Mark says…
January 4th, 2010 at 10:14 pm
serger seams?!
January 4th, 2010 at 10:16 pm
and another one more up axel’s alley:
butcher block?!
January 5th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Hudsucker proxy?!
January 24th, 2010 at 5:09 pm
Master Felter?! (from Nicole)
January 27th, 2010 at 11:01 am
sugar in the raw?!
January 27th, 2010 at 11:34 am
Hm. I’m not sure what it means “to sug” or “to shug” someone, but Urban Dictionary has some ideas: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shug
February 10th, 2010 at 1:21 pm
From Ballantyne: Doppleganger?! Funny, if you allow yourself to invent a new verb.
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:59 am
fluffernutter!
February 22nd, 2010 at 1:17 pm
LOL. Another absurd one
February 25th, 2010 at 4:26 pm
From Whit: Shaker Pie